qingyi's Xanga

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Wed, 17 Jan 2007 08:05:45 GMT

i want a hiatus.

from blogging. from people. from everybody. from those who hate me to those who adore me. including those who'll miss me. and people who can recognize me.

cos i can no longer recognize the world. it's getting too tough. i can no longer handle.

i used to be oblivious to people. cos there's so many others i can just randomly find. what are they? just people. just friends. i'll never run out of company. but when there's love. it's different. completely. cos there's only one person you love. nobody comes close. nobody will be the same.

losing your obliviosity, is. vulnerability.

let me take myself away. before the world behind chase, catch up with me and engulf me.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Tue, 16 Jan 2007 16:21:24 GMT

THIS FUGLY BITCH HERE THINKS SHE'S GOT WHAT IT TAKES TO FUCKING COMMENT ON AND CRITICIZE ABOUT MY LOOKS?

OMG, LIKE GET A RHINOPLASTY AND A JAW RECONSTRUCTION SURGERY BEFORE THAT YEAH?

and oh, not forgetting, she's still miserably out of school, yet blindly going after her unrealistic dreams of working in an OFFICE. when she's a N(A) retainee or is it N(T)?? and she's not even done with her Os!

like do something practical yup? learn how to sweep the floor and clean up the toilet cos that's gonna be your job in future and you'll prolly going to spend most of your time there.

why do i have what it takes to say all these? look at my face and compare.

then. look at how i fucking QUIT HWA CHONG JUNIOR COLLEGE on my own accord and got into fucking YEAR 13 in the top auckland college just by taking a PLACEMENT TEST. alright!?

and not forgetting!:D

i easily held your dumb email accounts hostage cos your password's so predictable?

oh wells, what to expect out of a dumbfuck anyways?

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Tue, 16 Jan 2007 12:27:40 GMT

you switch the radio off once it starts playing songs that reminds you of her.
you avoid places which have traces of painful memories of the both of you.
you stop eating food that both of you indulges on, with only her.
you throw pictures of her away, every single one of them (or learn from my precious, she cropped out claud, so she can still keep those pretty pics!)
you burn all the clothes and lingerie she scattily left at your place, after the sleep overs.
you go online, delete her off your friendster, myspace, multiply, fridae. then clear all her messages, testimonials. spare not even the entries on your blog about her.
you start punching furiously at your phone, deleting all her text messages, pics and vids of her. and of course, the key ritual, delete her off your phone book.

that's not the way to get over a person.
you should instead, listen to those songs, find new meanings.(not with another ger of course)
go to those places, look at it with a different mindset. (alone and brooding duh)
enjoy food as a whole, savour it for it's flavour.(it's unhealthy to be choosy when it comes to food)
look at your pictorial recollection and be grateful cos only what's beautiful is captured.
wash and keep those stuff.( abercrombie and french connections are expensive you know?)donate it to those poor african kids.
spare your mouse and keyboard from the furious hammering, find new friends to scroll her out.
dont torture your phone. earn all the money in the world to get a new one (:

the same logic applies when you're still attached to a person. when you're waiting for her, and you want to keep her alive, you dont go about doing what you did with her with another person, finding a substitute or replica's just not the way. and addressing her as your ex with that substitute is more like trying to get over her than being faithful and loyal. if you're really so in love with her. you will never have the heart to repeat the painful process of reliving any single moment with somebody else.

you said you were delirious. it only brings me more questions. how can you actually have so much energy and concentration to dress up, plan the event, organize the date and have fun?

you live in a 5 room flat, with a household income that's impossible to buy stuff from fleshimp, levis, zara and what nots. but you have them all
i live in a condo (ok, now a city loft), with a household income that's ample for french connection, abercrombie, levis, miss sixty, but i need to smuggle to have them
life's so screwed. quit finding meaning.

oh yeah, i thought about all those in the showers, if only i get to do my exams in my shower huh?

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Tue, 16 Jan 2007 10:44:05 GMT

i only have 2 words for the 2 of you.

duplicitous bitch.

i know i'm superficial too. but at least i have the decency and honesty to claim my own sins.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Tue, 16 Jan 2007 03:25:29 GMT

in this phase of life. where sorrow and mishappens reign.

surprisingly there are still people around who can put smiles on my face.

and make me laugh out loud. like seriously loud, out from the heart.

i truly truly appreciate what you guys are doing. tolerating my rantings and playing stupid 7 hand poker with me.

hahahaha.

yeah. i win so many sets with a 3 cos you fucking put a 2!

and though i'm no longer counting the number of times i cry or feel down. cos that's what i'm going through almost all the time.

i should still be glad there are times of true delight and comfort for me to count on and look forward to.

get webcam soon!

http://www.dse.co.nz/cgi-bin/dse.storefront/45ac535c010bc52e273fc0a87f33068d/Product/View/XH5096

this one!

Monday, January 15, 2007

Mon, 15 Jan 2007 07:32:19 GMT

i feel seriously full. and i havent eaten anything for the past 3 days.

but i have this atrocious craving for singapore KFC. and shanghai MACS.

gosh. i miss fastfood delivery. singapore's mac's delivery operates 24/7. what a luxury for all you people.

i miss days when we lead our derelicte lifestyle. (:

pizza hut delivery at 12noon. sleep. kfc delivery at 10pm. sleep. mac's delivery at 6am.

BACK TO SLEEP :D

sleeping with you is the best entertainment in life

and who else's slept next to you for around a year other than me? (:

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Sun, 14 Jan 2007 20:43:43 GMT

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Sun, 14 Jan 2007 20:11:59 GMT

and you watch the world pass by.

just like it's never happened before.

i'm done with love.

scarred and torn

play only when you've got what it takes.

i overestimated.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Sun, 14 Jan 2007 18:35:49 GMT

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Sat, 13 Jan 2007 11:22:12 GMT

nowadays. i either BINGE. or STARVE.

but it's definitely better to be skinny than fat. i dont think i need to list reasons! (:

so i'll start to starve again from tomorrow (: